Momma

I haven't been a very loving daughter to you.
There's no excuse.
So I won't sit here and try to lie to you.
Sugarcoating the lost time.
What I do want to say is that I'm sorry Momma for disappearing on you.
I hope my absence hasn't put too much pain in you.
I really do love you.
I understand if you feel like it may be hard to believe it's true.
I do think about you.
All more than you probably think I do.
I was just being hard-headed and didn't know how to get past my own pain of not talking to you.
Really is unloving of me and I’m sorry Momma.
That’s the last thing you deserve from your child to who you gave life to.
I know I can’t bring back time and fix any wounds.
But what I can do is say I love you for every day I didn’t talk to you.
I love you for being a good mother to me while I was in your womb.
I love you for being a good mother even when I was in my terrible twos.
I love you even more so for being a good mother when you lost one and probably didn’t know what to do.
I love you for being a “mean” mother when I was a dumb teen and telling me the ways of what’s true.
I love you even more so for dealing with my young stupidity but I'm thankful I had you.
So I didn’t end up being a hoodlum strung out or locked away behind bars away from you.
I love you for being a good mother and raising me with dignity, morals and being a role model so I could be a loving mother too.
I love you Momma and I always will.
Please forgive me for not talking to you.