12:34 a.m.

Sitting at my desk staring at the bright screen like I've done all the nights before and it's 12:34 a.m.

Two months fly by always looking at the clock and it'd be 12:34 a.m.

A sequence of numbers constantly being shown to me.

My spirit guides are trying to tell me something through numbers.

Now their knocking at my door.

I open it to see what they have in store and it's 12:34 a.m. again.

My spirit guides tell me it's time to let go of what I've been holding onto emotionally or physically.

I know what I have to let go of and it's both in my case which I already knew before.

Emotionally it's saying let go of Gabriel he's not him anymore.

A vessel consumed by the demon he's not awake anymore.

Physically it's saying I need to let go of dope (meth) but I'm not hurting anyone.

I refused to listen thinking I don't believe in angel numbers it has to prove itself to me.

May 19th 2022 some ones knocking on my door.

Came to bare the bad news that flipped my world upside down.

My nine year old daughter has an STD.

My daughter breaks down and cries. 

Stutters the words that split my family the next night.

When I was three years old, I had an imaginary friend named K, he turned out to be my future son.

Whom I met in real life when I was twenty one and him three.

Same person, K.

In foster care I thought this is my path I needed to take.

To be his mother I came to be in 09 now I can't bare to look at him.

The day that DHR came to bare the bad news she had to come inside.

I just finished an explicit witchcraft ritual and I knew what was coming next.

All those times I kept seeing 12:34 a.m. I didn't listen to the warning. 

I didn't stop dope.

When DHR saw my explicit witchcraft on the floor and their reason for being there put all eyes on me.

Red flag on me, people in blue covered my street warranted with a search.

Looking for my devices they also found drug paraphernalia.

My devices were taken into states custody.

To see if I was producing illegal content.

I understand, it's their job.

My heart was forcefully ripped away. 

I was told to leave my daughter May 26th 2022.

Now I'm homeless, no vehicle or resources for a fighting chance it seems.

Custody went to my in-laws and now I'm in drug court.

A 12 month plus program.

I did it to myself but honestly how does drug court expect me to do what's required of me if I'm homeless, no vehicle or support.

Recipe for disaster if you ask me. 

Standing in front of a judge. Who holds the fate of your life in his hands for he is God.  To judge us. Lynched if they decide to do away with me. 

You don't know what it feels like having Alabama Cyber crime investigation unit in every inch of your porn. Making sure you're not producing illegal content and living in the Bible belt making blasphemy porn! Fuck! Is it a crime?!

It's all one fucked up nightmare I'm awaken right now. 

The nightmare of an adult content creator.